It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Randomize
