Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
