she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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