i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
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