you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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