it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
