these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Randomize
