My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Holy shit dude........stairs
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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