he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Randomize
