I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
