Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
