Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
