I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
