Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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