OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Randomize
