HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Randomize
