we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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