I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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