The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
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