This girl is more easily done than said...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
Are we still banned from the library?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Randomize
