Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
