He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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