Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
