Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
