It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
