i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
