Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Let's get the cat blown out
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Holy fuck, my entire boob is bruised! Lierally my boob is just one big bruise.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
