dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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