$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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