Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
Randomize
