did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Randomize
