you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
