Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Randomize
