He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Randomize
