I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
