Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
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