I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
Randomize
