U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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