What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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