We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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