i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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