yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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