atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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