your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
is this the sara with the beer cane?
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Randomize
