You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
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