Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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