real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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