need another drink. this is the easiest way
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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