if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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