Did I show you my penis last night?
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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