did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
