Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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