fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
Randomize
